Saturday, February 4, 2023

Self-Love Transformed My Life


I am the sole caregiver for my 93-year-old mom, who was diagnosed with dementia. I had always been under stress thinking about my inability to understand her needs, maintain her hygiene levels and whether I was doing everything right for her comfort.

I was my own worst critic. I had put myself last on the priority list.

I wasn’t taking care of myself and was resisting the need to understand my emotions. I would feel sad, and the sadness became so severe that it overwhelmed my life. That’s when I decided to seek help.

It was only when I accepted that imperfection is human; I felt a weight lifted off my mind.

Self-love wasn’t easy initially. But slowly, I started embracing behaviours that made me feel more positive. I felt more energetic while taking care of my mom after I changed my daily routine.

I enrolled in a guided meditation course, which was very relaxing.

 I started spending an hour every day either going for a long walk or doing yoga. I get up at 5am and go for a walk. Listening to the sound of the wind rustling through the trees and taking in the beauty of the surroundings makes me forget my stress and feel fresh to face the day.

I engage myself in writing and reading. This helps me keep my mind and body nurtured.

I love driving, so the biggest gift I give myself once every two weeks is going on a long drive with no destination in mind. I just put on my favourite music or an interesting podcast and keep driving.

I started connecting with relatives, friends and support groups. This helped me reduce the feeling of isolation and loneliness. It provided a sense of security and stability.

“To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness,”- Robert Morley.

I cannot agree more with Robert Morley.

Besides changing my daily routine, these two positive affirmations help me create a more positive mindset,

  1. I will find joy in everyday moments of life
  2. I don’t have to be perfect to be excellent.

Putting myself first and prioritising time for myself does not mean that I am neglecting my mom. Giving myself more space and making some healthy decisions for my mind, body, and soul has put me in a better form to care about my mom and her needs.

The biggest lesson I learnt was self-love is the most important love of your life, and if you have to share healthy love and relationship with others, love yourself first.

Byron Katie said, “Do you want to meet the love of your life? Look in the mirror.”

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